LOVE DARE: DAY 4 & 5: IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY

Everyone keeps saying how positive I am. And I was doing okay for a few days. But It can't always be easy. I spent days 4 and 5 in major melt down mode. I was angry at the world, and I was hurt and I was missing the focus and positive energy that DD had always brought to my life.

I continued with the dare, but I am embarrassed to admit, that I put in as little effort as possible for those 2 days.
But I did them. Just barely.
It could have been also that the challenges for those days were a little harder for me. They weren't as clear cut. They required a little more thought on a day I was not inclined to give it. And also, they had some links to my DD life that I wasn't sure about. I wasn't sure how they would be received. Let me explain.

The Love Dare: Day 4
Love is thoughtful
"Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them"

This is something I would do quite often when we were doing DD. We had a ritual where he would sometimes give me a chore to do for the day. I am actually quite good at keeping a clean house, but I tend to get overwhelmed by the extras and not know where to start. So, on occasion, if he did not give me something to do, I would call or text him and ask him if there was anything he would like me to do. Sometimes this annoyed him.
Also, if he needs me to do something, he just asks me and I do it. During the course of day 4 I did many things he needed me to do , but I had not specifically asked him so technically these things did not really count.
I put off asking him until late in the evening. His response was utterly predictable. " I don't know. Laundry?"

Yeah ok. So I folded the laundry. Big whoopdee.

As you can see, my heart wasn't really in it.  And my heart definitely wasn't in Day 5.


.Love Dare Day 5:
Love is not rude
"Ask your spouse to tell you 5 things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only."

If you want to get technical...... I didn't even ACTUALLY do this...... I never asked. HOWEVER, we did have a discussion that night where these things were brought up and I was careful not to attack or justify.  I had a little mantra going in my head  "day 5 day 5 day 5"

Let me tell you about this talk we were having though......

It was the talk we had on Tuesday night.....AFTER........He reinstated DD.....!!!

Yup, I'll blog about that later on this evening.....

I'm going to continue the Love Dare though, so.... here's Day 6

Love Dare : Day 6
Love is not irritable
"Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your mariage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations you need to release from your life"